When Sheila earned her PhD
With her boyfriend of equal degree
Dissertations got tough
So they smoked off-the-cuff
How stupid can smart people be?
A real estate mogul named Dave
Let cigarettes make him a slave
Location, location
And smoke inhalation
Has led to his premature grave
Just ask yourself: "Why am I here?
To smoke until I disappear?"
The reason for living
Is loving and giving
Tell pressure to jump off a pier
//
Lanny Poffo was born December 28th, 1954. A member of the legendary Poffo family (son of Angelo Poffo and brother of "The Macho Man" Randy Savage), "The Genius," (who also wrestled as "Leapin' Lanny," is a Canadian born American citizen. His wrestling career in the WWE was highlighted by a victory over Hulk Hogan and the subsequent appearances on “Live with Regis and Kathie Lee” and “The Jonathan Ross Show.” In both iconic WWE (then WWF) wrestling characters, he would write and recite an original poem before the match. He now travels the world for appearances and motivational speeches. He’s written two books, both of which are available on amazon.com. Find him online at geniuslannypoffo.com
Editor's note: As a lifelong fan of The Genius, I am deeply moved by the power of poetry as a villainous performative performance of one of America's most popular, underrated, and endlessly fascinating forms of art: professional wrestling. What poems can do is endless. I've embedded below a playlist of some of his finest matches and promos: